I fell off the face of the blog world, I am sure no one
noticed ha! A lot has been happening that has required more time to be spent
away from my blog.
I got a new job! I like my new job. However, it is way more
demanding than the previous and therefore I don’t get to spend an hour or two trolling
Pinterest or blogging.
I started back to school. I was doing really well and
towards the end of the semester I got a bit lazy. My grades should have been
all A’s. I’m a hair disappointed in
myself but, I plan on really pushing myself all the way this time around.
Online classes tend to not keep my interest. They are very convenient though
and I need to do more to keep myself focused on completing and studying.
Love Life, still a bit shaky with a dash of questionable
normalcy.
New Year’s Resolutions are silly to me. I never keep them
and they always have to do with becoming a leaner, meaner me! Let’s face it Me….I
don’t think you’re going to get back into those jeans from high school. Nothing
about your body resembles anything from high school….so even if you make it
smaller the packaging isn’t going to be as great. You’re a little bit stripey
but, it works for Tigers and Zebras…so why not you? That was me talking to
myself in case you didn’t get it.
Instead of trying to make myself smaller, I believe I want
to make myself bigger. I want to make myself bigger in heart. I want to strive
to be the best me that I can be. The best mother, daughter, friend, employee… I
want to be good to myself as well. I want to be the best me! In order to do
that I think one needs to do a bit of self-reflection.
What am I doing now
that I can do better?
As a mother I have plenty of room to be more involved. I
come home and I am tired and I want to relax and love on my son but, when he
wants me to sit and play cars….that is the last thing I feel like doing. It isn’t
about me though. I need to spend time with my son because he isn’t going to be
2 forever. He isn’t going to want me to sit and play cars forever. I can’t miss
out on these time due to my laziness.
As a daughter I need to be better about visiting my parents.
I need to move out from my mom’s so I am able to be her daughter and not
someone she is caring for. I need to make time to get to my dad’s and spend
time with him. I need to do the same
about visiting my grandparents. I used to be there every day, now I am lucky if
its 1 time a week.
As a sister I need to do more to let my siblings know I care
about them. I need to take time to visit my sister and do fun things. Like
dinner or go to the movies.
As a friend I need to let my friends know how much I
appreciate them. How much they mean to me in my life. I need to do little
things for them and visit them more. I would like to schedule once a month
outings where we can just go out and carefree. I have always wanted to do this
but it is hard.
As an employee I am so lazy ha. I hate getting up early. I
am the girl who hits snooze 12 times and then panics and throws on clothes as
she is running out the door. I am going to be 26 years old. It is time to make
that shift to becoming a morning person. If I got up and took time I wouldn’t be
rushing. I’d have time to do my hair pretty and put on nice clothes. The job I
have now is serious and I need to be more serious about it. So I was late today
but, starting Monday….I will make honest attempts at being a morning girl.
With myself this is the hardest. I am a people pleaser. I
have gotten into the business of trying to make others happy regardless of my
true feelings. A lot of times I don’t know my true feelings but, I think I do
an okay of sorting them out. I want to be able to be honest and sort them out
on my own time and via my own ways.
However, my biggest me improvement is to not be afraid. I am
afraid of EVERYTHING. I am afraid to make choices and stick to them. I am
afraid that if I stick to them what the outcome might be. I’m scared to go to
my trip to Florida because I hate flying; I hate the idea of being away from my
son. I harbor a lot of fear and I just need to be trusting!
Last but certainly not least. My relationship with Christ. I
have fallen so far away that I know most of my fears and lack of trust have to
stem from the fact I am not leaning on God to help me. I really would like to
spend 2013 rebuilding that relationship….and truthfully building. I am not sure
if there has really been a true relationship with God.
So here’s to a better me for 2013. May the odds ever be in
my favor.
