2013

I fell off the face of the blog world, I am sure no one noticed ha! A lot has been happening that has required more time to be spent away from my blog.

I got a new job! I like my new job. However, it is way more demanding than the previous and therefore I don’t get to spend an hour or two trolling Pinterest or blogging.

I started back to school. I was doing really well and towards the end of the semester I got a bit lazy. My grades should have been all A’s.  I’m a hair disappointed in myself but, I plan on really pushing myself all the way this time around. Online classes tend to not keep my interest. They are very convenient though and I need to do more to keep myself focused on completing and studying.

Love Life, still a bit shaky with a dash of questionable normalcy.

New Year’s Resolutions are silly to me. I never keep them and they always have to do with becoming a leaner, meaner me! Let’s face it Me….I don’t think you’re going to get back into those jeans from high school. Nothing about your body resembles anything from high school….so even if you make it smaller the packaging isn’t going to be as great. You’re a little bit stripey but, it works for Tigers and Zebras…so why not you? That was me talking to myself in case you didn’t get it.

Instead of trying to make myself smaller, I believe I want to make myself bigger. I want to make myself bigger in heart. I want to strive to be the best me that I can be. The best mother, daughter, friend, employee… I want to be good to myself as well. I want to be the best me! In order to do that I think one needs to do a bit of self-reflection.

 What am I doing now that I can do better?

As a mother I have plenty of room to be more involved. I come home and I am tired and I want to relax and love on my son but, when he wants me to sit and play cars….that is the last thing I feel like doing. It isn’t about me though. I need to spend time with my son because he isn’t going to be 2 forever. He isn’t going to want me to sit and play cars forever. I can’t miss out on these time due to my laziness.

As a daughter I need to be better about visiting my parents. I need to move out from my mom’s so I am able to be her daughter and not someone she is caring for. I need to make time to get to my dad’s and spend time with him.  I need to do the same about visiting my grandparents. I used to be there every day, now I am lucky if its 1 time a week.

As a sister I need to do more to let my siblings know I care about them. I need to take time to visit my sister and do fun things. Like dinner or go to the movies.

As a friend I need to let my friends know how much I appreciate them. How much they mean to me in my life. I need to do little things for them and visit them more. I would like to schedule once a month outings where we can just go out and carefree. I have always wanted to do this but it is hard.

As an employee I am so lazy ha. I hate getting up early. I am the girl who hits snooze 12 times and then panics and throws on clothes as she is running out the door. I am going to be 26 years old. It is time to make that shift to becoming a morning person. If I got up and took time I wouldn’t be rushing. I’d have time to do my hair pretty and put on nice clothes. The job I have now is serious and I need to be more serious about it. So I was late today but, starting Monday….I will make honest attempts at being a morning girl.

With myself this is the hardest. I am a people pleaser. I have gotten into the business of trying to make others happy regardless of my true feelings. A lot of times I don’t know my true feelings but, I think I do an okay of sorting them out. I want to be able to be honest and sort them out on my own time and via my own ways.

However, my biggest me improvement is to not be afraid. I am afraid of EVERYTHING. I am afraid to make choices and stick to them. I am afraid that if I stick to them what the outcome might be. I’m scared to go to my trip to Florida because I hate flying; I hate the idea of being away from my son. I harbor a lot of fear and I just need to be trusting!

Last but certainly not least. My relationship with Christ. I have fallen so far away that I know most of my fears and lack of trust have to stem from the fact I am not leaning on God to help me. I really would like to spend 2013 rebuilding that relationship….and truthfully building. I am not sure if there has really been a true relationship with God.

 

So here’s to a better me for 2013. May the odds ever be in my favor.