In my life I love you more

I have been listening to a lot of Beatles today. Particularly I have been replaying the song…

In My Life

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

Although I have heard this song countless times and I know the lyrics by heart it seemed the message really struck me today. I mourn over the past and I seem to struggle with allowing myself to let it go. However, to me I guess this song basically says that at one point in time you have loved all these people. Whether its friends you have feuded with or lovers you have lost. At one point in time you loved them all and your love for them was real. I like this song because now being a mother I think of my son when it comes to the part where it says…

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

I am sure he didn’t mean it the way I am taking it but, I believe that is the beauty of music. Music is meant for the listener to enjoy and interrupt the way they see fit. When I think of how much I love my son it is very obvious to me I have never loved a friend nor a lover as much as I love my child. Although I am still friends with some people and perhaps I occasionally (more times than not) cling to old memories of relationships nothing will come close to the love I have for Max. After thinking this I saw a glimmer of hope for my future thoughts. I can’t be upset with what I have had and what I have lost. It is life and it happens. I think I have wonderful friends now who I share a very real bond with and as far as a partner... well if he is out there then I think it will happen when it should. I can’t keep moping around and feeding my depression with thoughts of the past. It was good when it was good and that is nice. It is the past. The one thing that will always be constant is the love I have and receive from my child. I have a son who runs to me when I get home from work. I have my little guy to cuddle with and watch Bubble Guppies. I have someone to kiss goodnight for as long as he will let me! I am beyond thankful for that! In my life I love you more, Maximus James.